So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
