Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
