I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They took my balls.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize