No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
