Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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