And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
