Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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