dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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