forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
