census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
