i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I checked into jail on foursquare
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I have fence marks all over my body
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
