I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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