Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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