sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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