I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
