You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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