I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
