He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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