There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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