How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He shit in the fireplace
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
