What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
