He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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