Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it because I queefed?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
