So drunk its hurt
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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