I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
