You made me cry and you don't even care
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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