Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
