honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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