my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Houston, we have a blender
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
