i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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