On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
