i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
operation harelip BJ is a go
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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