Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize