omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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