omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
