They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
