Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
