Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
