Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
