so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
