I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
