I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
