I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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