I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
third nipple confirmed
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize