she was so not down for the gang bang
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
