May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
