you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
