I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
