dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
