Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
