The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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