I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
