I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
