Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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