I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
