uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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