Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
