Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
