Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
