like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
