You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
